Christiane F.

"Claro que Hitler foi um porco. Mas quando eu vejo fotos da juventude hitlerista, eu vejo somente aquelas caras contentes. Eles devem ter sido bastante entusiasmados. Com isso a gente fica com inveja. Hoje em dia eu não conheço nenhum jovem que seja entusiasmado com alguma coisa ou que tenha ideais. Eu gostaria de ter alguns, ou pelo menos um" (Christiane Felscherinow, a tal Christiane F.). Feliz ano velho.

A little bit cold

The office where I work has a powerful air-conditioner. It can preserve a mummy for long years, probably. Flies fall down on the floor like small snow flocks. Now I know what's like to be a dead pig in a butcher fridge.

My office mate, Max, can't stand the hot, the reason why he turns on the air conditioning on the coldest degree. My hands gets as cold as ice. This bone-chilling cold almost kills me!

Ok, that's not the New York City winters, that made Paul Simon bleed and want to come back home. But he was used to snow, and I'm not. I was born in a tropical contry, almost with monkeys crossing the street and indians playing drums downtown.

Gently, I tried to convince Max to avoid the f****** air conditioning. But, again with Paul Simons' words, still the man hear what he wants to hear and disregard the rest mmm mmm.

burning wounds

Yesterday, somebody set fire in a store, in Pinheiros. The middle-aged, white man had bought some gasoline, crossed the entrance and yelled everybody to leave the place immediately. But a woman who worked there forgot her purse in the store, and went back to recover it. It was her mistake. In seconds, the fire took over the floor and she couldn't reach the street anymore. She breathed the toxic smoke and died, unfortunately.

These sad developments are advice. At risk, one has to leave everything behind, without wasting time. After all, you can buy a new purse tomorrow. The id, you can have another on a public department, it takes about four hours, wich is not too much, comparing to death.

Maybe, this warning is useful on emotional things, also. We should leave back all things that hurt us, instead of carry it in our souls. A restless heart can stop beating, when overcharged. One has to run off the toxic, black smoke that inner wounds expel.

It doesn't mean that we must only forget sad things to preserve ourselves. If it is the right thing to do, some wine would be enough. But alcohol can only bring more fire.

I mean that you have to put out the fire, but outside of it. In the same way, sad things are to be left behind until you are some steps ahead: then you can look back, check the damages and see where the fire really is and what has to be done in order to stop it and fix up everything.

Those thoughts are, in fact, to myself. Sometimes I want to come back and recover my id. Thinking now, I won't need it, I'll have another identity after the fire.

Homem-bomba

Os homens-bomba, como se sabe, enfrentam um longo treinamento antes de partirem para sua missão. Passam por testes físicos e psicológicos, coisa fina. Nos intervalos das "aulas" a que frequentam, provavelmente devem conversar sobre quem já passou pela experiência e que já está do lado de lá da vida, com suas dezenas de virgens que a tradição promete, como prêmio (deve ser por isso que não há mulheres-bomba).

Pois bem, o estudo para concursos públicos ou vestibular é a mesmíssima coisa. Nós, os aspirantes, vemos a aprovação como a passagem para o céu. Uma vez superada a prova, todas as privações serão compensadas. No dia da posse, enxugarão nossas lágrimas: as primeiras cousas já passaram.

É o paraíso similar ao muçulmano. Com uma diferença crucial: o ingresso aos campos de Alá é muito mais... fácil.

Qualquer analfabeto aciona uma bomba. Por outro lado, passar nas diversas fases de um concurso público requer uma preparação mais elaborada, digamos.

Coloquem um fanático extremista para fazer a primeira fase do Itamaraty, por exemplo. Não lhe vai adiantar espernear e apontar a AK-47 contra os mesários. O único caminho é acertar a maior parte das questões. ]

E se colar é eliminado automaticamente do concurso.

Claro, não acreditarei se me disserem que há uma virgem sequer lá no dia da posse.

http://www.h4x3d.com/feat/themes/bomb.jpg

Few options

I've been studying under several time constraints. For I live alone, I have to take care of my house by myself, mostly. Doing the dishes and washing the clothes takes long hours. At the end, I'm so tired that I can barely move a finger.

However, There aren't many options.

Exposition

This blog exposes me a lot. Anybody can come in, read what I write and analyse how I do it. They can criticize my english, mock the pictures, the tales, and - what is worse - leave without writing a comment. I can accept everything but it! Laugh at me, but write your laughs! Any hahaha is enough.

I'll like to read all these things when I'm 64. It will probably appear that I was someone else, when I was young. Maybe it'll be true: Time can dig deep lines on our faces.

No title

Today, a cold, light drizzle falls continuously all over São Paulo. A bone-chilling cold makes me shiver. Are we still in a tropical country? I'm not really sure. All I know is I wish I was under the covers right now, drinking some soft drink and reading "The kite runner".

The processes are everywhere. Most of them are basically "greed" cases: somebody refused to pay someone for something. Insurances. Services, such as powering or watering. Some others are related to simple misunderstandings, wich the contenders could easily work out. But no, they want to fight, to stress each other.

***

My new house is filthy. I don't have the time to clean it. Some of my clothes I'll have to burn them, probably.

***

I wish I had more time to study. But I have to work, in order to maintain myself. I live alone, have lots of expenses.